How languages affect our personality

Five years ago I could barely imagine it was possible to learn even 2 languages. But my latent internal polyglot had other plans for me, and I’m very happy about it. Languages became my biggest passion, my favorite pastime and the most enriching and fascinating experience I’ve ever had. It helped me to discover all my “selves” begotten by other cultures, which I wouldn’t be able to discover unless I spoke those languages. Any learning experience changes us, language learning even more so. It affects our personality on multiple levels. I often get asked how did I learn so many languages, how does it feel like to speak all of them, and how do I maintain them.

In my opinion, every language we learn is a confluence of experiences and life situations we outlived. I know some vocabulary, expressions and notions better in one language than in another, because my experiences were diverse and all of them were in a different context. Another interesting observation of mine is that these experiences are the main factor that “carves” our personality in a given language. As opposed to a common opinion that our personality shifts when we speak a different language, in fact if we really master this language we still stay the same person, only the way we express our character is put in a different context, we use different language tools and ways of expressing the same things we are used to. That might be the reason why I know so many colloquial expressions from the American movies, I know every item in the kitchen and cooking vocabulary better in Italian and in some languages I know how to name things that I don’t even know in my mother tongue. But apart from those there are way more curious things that happened to me during my languages pursuits.

Habits

Language learning inevitably changes our habits, at least because when we start this path, we have to make some room in our daily routine to make it happen. But there is more to it.

I think the diversity of individuals and cultures, behaviors and personalities is one of the most beautiful things we have in this world. Even though our culture and country don’t exactly define our patterns of behaviors, but it certainly shapes them and makes us who we are. For a better or worse, we cannot deny that there is such a thing as typical national behavior and habits. Languages made me realize many things and scrutinize myself and my reality more than I used to do. All of a sudden It dawned on me that I don’t have to do something that my compatriots would certainly do in a given situation, if I personally don’t see any sense in this. It felt like I could just take all the best that I found in every culture and ingrain in in my own personality, and do away with things I don’t like. In fact, It’s not at all as contrived as it may sound, because this happens naturally as we introduce ourselves more profoundly to other cultures and we don’t even notice how we change. For instance, I find it very considerate to say “Hello” to people in public places or in your neighborhood, or hold the doors for them, even if you don’t know those people. The incredible politeness is something I stumbled upon in France first, and discovered later that this is a common thing in Italy and Spain as well. I frequently feel overpolite in my country, but I prefer to stick to this habit, because I sincerely find it amazing to be affable with strangers. Not saying “Hello” to somebody you don’t know well is not considered rude in Russia, even though it might come off as such, but the more I travel the more I understand that it is cultural. In the same way I enjoy and share the appreciation of good food and wine in southern European countries, where cuisine is often considered as a form of art and a delicious breakfast to start a day or a dinner with friends are paramount. On the contrary, I respect and appreciate stoicism of Russians in many social awkward situations, and consider that their ability to withstand certain things and conditions are incredible in acceptable measurements. Where some Europeans become unbearable, because nothing is good enough, many Russians would probably not even notice.

Self confidence

Our language knowledge can definitely boost our confidence. Knowing a language frequently creates this inscrutable connection between people, this sense of bonding and belonging to a certain culture. In the same way it can make us feel miserable and extremely ineffective, especially if we are at the very beginning of our language path. For most of people it’s very frustrating to feel like a child or a teenager again, because we have to learn how to write and express our thoughts and ideas from scratch. We have to combat the sounds that are very foreign to us, and do things we are not conditioned to do. The only reason why seasoned polyglots or languages learners don’t give up even after many defeats, unlike their unexperienced colleagues is because the first ones have already done it at least one time, or many times, and just this sheer visceral feeling of success leads them. If anything, people usually know or have a hunch for things they have done before. But trust me, everyone gets frustrated, even after many achieved language pursuits there is always something out there that might make us feel unexpectedly unsuccessful, incompetent, diffident, sluggish and therefore vulnerable and even dumb sometimes. If you are reading this and you are currently struggling with learning a language, just know that you are not alone and there are so many amazing ways to ameliorate this situation.

Age

Speaking a foreign language can make us feel out of our age, very often younger, because we are not able to express all the complexity of our thoughts and ideas. We might seem rude, because we don’t know how to say “sorry”, if we occasionally stepped on somebody’s foot and we feel like that lad who launched the ball into neighbor’s window pane by chance. Our ego is playing games with us, because we are not able to accept the defeat, to put up with our unanticipated incompetence, just because we can’t lead the conversation with the same sense of mastery as in our mother tongue. Learning a language requires acceptance and patience. Don’t beat yourself up, you are not losing your personality, you just learn how to express it in new and unknown ways.

Food

There is no need to learn a language to fall in love with a foreign cuisine, but learning languages can definitely change our tastes or simply expand our culinary preferences. Apart from introducing new combinations and flavors into our everyday cooking, appreciation of new cultures can make us very demanding and even capricious to certain foods that we tried in different countries. This is the reason why I’m very Italian when it comes to drinking coffee or eating ice cream or pasta (especially with pesto), I’m very French when it comes to cider and cheese, I can only eat spicy when it comes to Indian food and I’m obsessed with peanut butter that has never been a thing in Russia. I have never been fond of Russian cuisine, but traveling and trying new foods made me appreciate it more. If learning a language is entwined with cultural implications our preferences might shift and become more adventurous and propel us to experiment. Culinary traditions are based on climate, geography and history, don’t hesitate to make them a part of your learning experience, even when it starts with Google images.

Embrace the process of learning a new language, let it enter your mind and soul. You are not losing you personality, you are enriching it, you embody it with new facets. Once you start this path you will never be the same person again, but do you want to?

#Food #Languagelearning #Traveling