Life in Delhi. Incredible India.

I knew I would live and work in Delhi before going there and the only thought I had was to read as many blogs and articles about Delhi as I could. I thought, It’s the capital, I would find so much information. Alas! I have found articles about Mumbai, Goa, about life hardships in Khajuraho. Nothing about Delhi! No real experience information.

It turned out that I’m writing this article on the fifth month of my life in Delhi. Many aspects of Indian life should be pointed out individually. In this review I will share my own impressions, observations and conclusions.Warning: the article might be little long. You might think that it’s too negative at the beginning, but eventually, it ends up very positively. First months I faced many unexpected difficulties. I mean, theoretically I anticipated them all, but in real life everything feels differently. This country truly deserves as much time as you can give it. The more - the better.

Part 1. Impressions.

In November 2016 I came to India. From the very first days India profoundly startled me in every sense. It was a revelation, a new world I’d never known before. And obviously in this world I had to learn many things.

My first days and even weeks sped by very quickly. I remember checking in at the hostel at late night, trying to fall asleep and looking at spinning fan in the darkness,thinking “Why the hell did I come to India for work?” Rubbish and walking cows in the streets were not the reasons of my cultural shock. Months and even years ago I was mentally well-prepared to many things. My dream that finally came true overwhelmed me.

Chaos

From the very first seconds India drives you crazy. Even experienced travelers will be shocked by smells, street chaos and huge crowds wherever you go. This unbearable street chaos is the first thing one will notice being in Delhi. It gives a strong impression that highway codes and traffic lights are created simply for entertainment. Sometimes I thought that beeping a horn also represents some kind of amusement for locals: despite you hear these sounds ten times a second, it doesn’t do its work at all! The main principle of behavior on the road is “Let’s see who is faster”. Crossing the road for pedestrian can turn out to be breathtakingly dangerous adventure. You want to cross the road – okay, just go! Go against all the cars coming against you! You can try to make a sign with your hand to stop them, but it’s not always effective. So the best piece of advice I can give you – just hurry up. Even the most balanced-minded person will not bear this endless flow of people, cars and bikes. Sidewalks are seemingly there, but it’s impossible to use them due to parked cars, rubbish and sleeping homeless people.

The metro is the best thing in big cities

The system of Delhi metro really surprised me. It’s clean, comfortable and secure. They even have the first car reserved for ladies! (I’ve never used it though). The metro route map is very simple and user-friendly. In other words, the metro is the only way to avoid Delhi traffic-jam-packed roads. The metro system easily deserves 10 points out of 10! The only disadvantage – it is too crowded in rush hours.

Indian time

First rule I had to learn from the very beginning was the notion of Indian time. It will be continuously getting on your nerves unless you’ll accept it or even follow it. The point is that Indians never come on time. It’s not even being late. The appointment at 1 o’clock automatically becomes the appointment at 2, and they know it in advance! Everything works slowly. I experienced that already on my second day. Actually, nobody even worries about this. It’s a long-ingrained mentality. You can’t change it, but adjust to it.

Empty promises

The rule number two – don’t rely on promises. Don’t even get into this! It's a very rare case when an indian promises something and dutifully fulfills it. They seemingly want to help you, especially if you are a foreigner, but it’s not reliable at all. If you remind them about the promise, the situation will repeat like Samsara: they will continue to promise and promise and not deliver. I used to fall into this trap every single time! According to Russian/European mentality if one promises something, he at least tries, but here it will easily drive you crazy if you follow this logic! Promises in India are some sort of local social etiquette. Being a part of Indian society one eventually adjusts and doesn’t pay attention to it anymore. It’s not that bad in business environment, though. Well, just take it easy and try not to get into this.

People and streets

I have very ambiguous impressions concerning this aspect. India is the country of unthinkable contradictions. Some parts of Delhi are clean just like in Europe, most of streets are still dirty and full of rubbish notwithstanding. I’ve never seen so much rubbish in the streets! People wherever they are just throw away disposable plates, plastic bags, tissues and whatnot! Homeless sleep right on the pavements while their children playing around barefoot. Sometimes children begging for money would not let you pass by, grabbing your legs. I witnessed this many times, but fortunately, it has never happened to me.

By the way, In Delhi I haven’t seen many walking cows, but I know, in smaller cities and some regions it’s completely normal.

Housing issues

Indian bathrooms were another outstanding particularity I came up against.

First of all, nobody has a bathtub. One of my friends has been living in India already for 2 years, and he hasn’t seen a single bathtub in Indian bathroom. Not to mention, that the shower usually just set on the wall in the middle of the bathroom and not even separated.

Water is everywhere: the floor, the toilet, the sink, your clothes are wet. There is no even a shower curtain! Why would they improve something? It’s okay just like this!

There is no point to complain about this – just get used.

The absence of central heating in India gives you another challenge. Water boilers don’t heat enough water for a proper shower, that’s why you have to save some hot water in the bucket and wash yourself with some kind of a dipper. I’ve seen this literally everywhere!

Part 2. My observations of life in Delhi

Architecture

The Delhi architecture is generally pretty chaotic. There is no balance. You see randomly built dilapidated houses full of patchy stuff and tangled wires at every step. Every now and then real slums or improvised beds catch your eye.

Sightseeing’s such as beautiful temples and verdant parks, on the contrary, are very good-looking. India Gate and its alley was my favorite sight. It slightly reminded me of L'Arc de Triumphe in Paris.

Astonishing demographics

The huge difference between male and female population is very remarkable due to some historical and economic factors. In public places you will easily notice considerable lack of women. Sometimes I felt the only woman among men. Traditionally, the idea of male successor born in Indian family plays a significant role. That's the obvious reason of selective abortion and and high female mortality rate. Even though, in big cities nowadays it’s all behind, Indian society still have to reap the fruits of this horrifying phenomenon.

Here the conspicuous difference between Russian and Indian society should be pointed out. Russian women, deathly horrified by the fear not to get married, dedicate hours and hours just to look good. Most of them can’t go out without make-up and fancy dress. Don’t look at their boyfriend more than 5 seconds, otherwise a jealous rage is inevitable! While Russian women are obsessively exercising in gyms, enduring high-heels and shell out money for branded cosmetics, Indian ones do not worry about their look too much.

In streets of Delhi you will see women wearing BLACK socks over the colorful sandals and incongruous colors combinations. They are also not so concerned about wearing make-up. Those who are especially attentive might notice dirty nails painted with half-scuffed nail polish. When it comes to well-off people, things are different, though. You will also see many good-looking people, especially guys. Stylish hair is the new religion for them. I’m serious. Some of Indians can easily pass for hot Italians.

Family

Family and marriage in Indian society are fundamental and highly valuable. Traditions are gradually losing their impact, however, arranged marriages are still there. The modern concept of romantic relationships is relatively new for Indian society. This topic is highly delicate. Many people, even grown ones, have to conceal their relationships if for any reason their parents won’t like it. It surely depends on a family. To be honest, in India too many things depend on the family.

Living with parents in your early thirties, depending on them financially and morally are considered totally acceptable. On the one hand, it represents the strong notion of family respect, on the other hand, dependence and fear to be judged.

Hierarchies of all types, such as the rich and the poor, parents and children, chief and junior are strongly supported and followed in India. Hierarchy is the base of human society, and here social stratification still predominates.

Freshly made food

I'm deeply in love with Indian cuisine despite of its spiciness. It deserves individual article indeed. But I have to admit some really reasonable principles of Indian nutrition. Firstly, the freshness of food is paramount. Nobody would eat soups cooked the day before, like we do in Russia. It's also a consequence of hot climate. Food should be cooked and eaten immediately. Secondly, if you know the right places you can get really cheap and decent food. 100-200 indian rupees is enough to buy the quantity of food dangerous for your slim waist.

What surprised me, that Indians respect and follow the concept of home-made food. They would most likely to take their lunch from home, then to buy some random junk food. I remember, when I studied at University, I used to bring my lunch from home, and people stared at me as if I made something wrong.

Foreigners

If you are a foreigner walking in Delhi streets – you are, without a doubt, a center of attention. People not only stare at you openly, but try to build a friendship with you in 1 minute. I’ve heard the phrase “We could be great friends” so many times as never before in my life. Don’t waste your time explaining that friendship doesn’t work like that, you might be in a hurry or not at all comfortable. It’s all in vain. And then you understand how obnoxious certain types of Indians can be. Doesn’t matter that you see this person for the first and most likely the last time is your life, they will spread the word about their “very close foreign friend”. To make you understand, I go to the gym for free only because I’m a foreigner in India. Here you are popular for the only reason – you are different.

Honestly speaking, I’ve never received so many friendship request on social networks as I did in India. Not to mention, that if you mildly interested in this person and you show it, they will still consider this 2-minutes conversation as a destined friendship. And it happens every day!

Of course, educated Indians with decent social status respect personal space, they are tolerant and polite. And there are many of them. Unfortunately, they can’t protect you from their obnoxious compatriots.

Part 3. Adjusting

After about 4 months of life in India you accept many things as they are. You don’t look for supermarkets to buy products anymore. You don’t try to find places by their address, because most of times addresses are not written. You start think like local.

I’ve found out that in the next street I could find everything I needed. So I used to carry heavy bags from far away supermarkets for nothing.

Eventually I’ve started to enjoy local advantages such as cheap fruits and vegetables, and fresh juices. These all cost almost nothing in comparison with prices in Russia. I got used to spicy food. I have started to notice nice people in the streets. At the end of the day, you realize that their exaggerated interest to you come out from the simple curiosity. On the fifth month, I’ve started to understand conversations in Hindi, and I’ve improved my reading skills.

We come to new countries and cities not even to spend holidays. We come to get this unique feeling and vibes the place gives you.

India has taught me a lot. Typical rational estimation patterns like good-bad, clean-dirty, beautiful-ugly don’t work here. India teaches you to improvise, it teaches you to be simple and take it easy. If you are able to open your soul to India, it will open up for you too. Once I stopped to expect and judge I’ve started to enjoy.

There is one funny thing. In Russia we always have the same response to any complain: “We are in Russia”. This is so typical for India as well.

If you don’t like this country, I wouldn’t recommend you to torture yourself by coming here. But if it attracts you for some mysterious reason, try it, there is a chance to fall in love with India.

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#Traveling #Languagelearning #Food