France which is far from Paris, or about my life in Caen

The author: Bazhena Pampura; co-author
16 февр. 2017 г.
11 мин. чтения

I want to warn you from the very beginning, that I'm writing this article only to share my experience for those who are interested. My personal experience does amount to absolute truth. I’m writing about my own impressions, my own thoughts and my own conclusions. Since I’m writing about travels it will cover the cities and regions I have visited.

So, I spent the summer 2016 in France and Italy. The goal of this adventure except the obvious language learning, was cultural immersion. I wanted to get a feel of the lifestyle, the mindset, the local traditions and simple details of everyday life. Basically, I wanted to feel at home, if anything, the last thing I wanted was to feel like a tourist.

This is a paradox, I know. Despite of the fact that traveling is one of the main passions, I don’t like to be a tourist. The notion of traveling for me includes communication with local people, home environment and decor, talks around you, habits, everyday details, tendencies, but most importantly this feeling and energy one gets from the place he visits. All of these attract me much more than typical museum and recreational excursions and mandatory souvenirs shopping sprees(although it is very nice…). What I enjoyed most is that I lived in my friend’s place and it gave me the feeling of authenticity.

I have spent my July in a French town, named Caen, in Normandy. This was my second summer there already. The first time I came for the language internship to improve my French. This time I just felt like getting to know Caen better. I adore Normandy, its landscapes, its calm peaceful beauty. The only hiccup for me was the weather. Summers in Northern France are cool and rainy. This type of climate is a real torture for me, taking into account the fact that I’ve been living in southern part of Russia for 6 years and would go to a sunny seaside every weekend. For somebody probably it’s not even a disadvantage.

Caen is a stunningly beautiful city, and I can say the same thing about all cities of Normandy. Wherever you go, all you see is wonderful architecture, charming streets and cleanness. The seaside (to be precised La Manche or English Channel), which geographically divides France and Great Britain is 20 minutes away by car.

Let’s get to the point: the French lifestyle.

The first and the most important thing I understood after those two months is that there is nothing weird in the world. Nothing! Everything which seems peculiar to us, comes from social conventions, traditions and educational background.

It was very important for me to adopt local habits and to feel the rhythm of life, that’s why I have adjusted very quickly. My observations about French customs are neither positive or negative, they are merely the result of my experience. To avoid creating sophisticated characteristics I’ll just describe daily life moments, mentality and my general observations altogether.

Part one. Stereotypes and general facts.

1.Baguette, cheese and croissants.

This is absolutely true! The quintessential French baguette and cheese diversity takes a significant part in French nutrition. And you know what? I fully understand them. For the first two weeks I only ate baguettes, yogurts and cheese and I couldn’t stop. They were just too delicious! It’s not just the food. Even the way they cook and the way they eat is different. For example, baguettes and bread are usually kept in the freezer, and for breakfast they just heat it up in oven and the bread still stays fresh and delicious. I should also point out: I really fell in love with that salty butter. It’s served for breakfast with baguette. I was so overwhelmed by the sheer abundance of cheese and yogurts that I could barely summon the courage to choose something on my own. My French friend was almost offended when I couldn’t distinguish three types of cheese. Take Camembert, for instance. Normandy is the motherland for Camembert, and what we in Russian think of Camembert does quite capture it. Camembert is not a brand, it’s actually just a type of cheese made in a certain way from unpasteurized milk, and it even specializes into different types and brands. They say that different types of Camembert can have slightly different flavor. In Normand supermarket, apart from all possible types of French cheese in general, you will find the section of Camembert of every type.

Inspired by this yummy French food, every time I had to force myself not to finish the whole baguette. But I couldn’t. With a great appetite I tried whatever seemed interesting and relatively new for me. Apparently, that meant going against the current. In my bout of French culinary experiments, I even spread confiture (jam) on croissants. Judging from horrified looks on my friends’ face, I’ve also learnt there are things you don’t do in France.

That being said, French food deserves 10 points out of 10, easily.

2. The art of sounding French

Try to speak with a French person about some popular book or movie. You will most likely not understands each other, and not even because of language barrier. The French tend to change names of heroes in their own way. If you ask them “Why?” they will respond something like “But it sounds much better in French!” For instance, famous Hogwarts from Harry Potter became Poudlard, and Robin Hood becomes Robin des Bois(which literally means Robin from forest). They also pronounce Apple and Google in their own way, which makes it almost utterly impossible to understand for a foreigner without the proper sub-titels. Of course, I can’t blame them. This happens in many cultures but then again, I sometimes had to explain what I meant for over 20 minutes the most silly things. I got to know that it weren’t my communicational skills that were at fault, but the fact my French friends just didn’t link language transliteration.

3. Shoes question

French people don’t take off their shoes coming home. I was invited several times by different people, but in none of those houses I had to take off my shoes. If we think of it, it surely turns out to be very simple. The climate and clean streets let them do it. I think for me it was just a matter of my habit of wearing house shoes at home, that’s why I felt slightly uncomfortable. On the one hand, it didn’t take a long time to get used, but on the other hand, for a Russian person it’s complicated to quit wearing at least house slippers, so I was wearing beach slippers at home. It’s not a matter of flexibility, but of personal comfort.

5. Distances.

- You know, big cities like Caen…

- What?! Big?!

-But… I meant…For Normandy…

By the way, Caen is about 25 square km, with around 100,000 people. For a Russian, that is a village. Of course distances in Russia and in Europe are incomparable. Moreover, the way cities are located is also different – many small cities are located nearby. The village in Russian understanding would be a normal city in France. Historically, this phenomenon has a very simple explanation. In Middle Ages cities were truly small, just couple of cobbled streets, and many of them still haven’t expanded into bigger ones. But it gives another advantage, though: all those well-preserved European cities give an authentic feeling of being in completely another century, especially taking into account that many William the Conqueror’s Castles are in a very good condition.

6. Beeh...

French exclamations will most likely not sound unusual for the traveler. As in any language. I’ve noticed that long time ago, but this time I’ve also started to use them. Instead of usual “Well and so” (in Russian it would be something like “Nu”), a French person would say “Beeeh, Bah, Fin” with a typical nasal intonation. The French themselves couldn’t fully define what exactly are nasal sounds. When they asked me “What the biggest difference between French and Russian phonetical sounds?” and I answered “Nasal sounds” they didn’t quite get me. “What do you mean nasal sounds?” they kept asking. Only after a detailed explanation would we at least understand each other. The phonetic system of our mother language usually seems so normal to us that we hardly notice any specific particularities.

Part 2. Things which surprised me in a nice way or what do I miss being in Russia

1.Astonishing politeness.

No no, I meant it. In Russia, this level of politeness can slightly shock people or be perceived as flirting. It’s not even because they always say “Hello” and “Thank you” and “Have a good day!” in any public places where any interactions ever happen. It’s absolutely common to say “Hello” to unknown people or wish them a good day or evening. I was a witness of this amazing conversation when my friend was responding in sweetest manner to a homeless person in the street. The translated conversation would sound something like this:

- Excuse me sir, good day to you! Would you have some coins for me please?

-Good day, sir! That’s a pity, I don’t have any. So sorry. Have a good day!

- You too have a good day!

I suppose, I had too astonished look and my friend said “It was just a normal person!”(and I agree with him). Trust me, it was not an exceptional case, but you can encounter that everywhere. One will get used to it very quickly being there, so did I.

2. The beauty

The whole Normandy is very harmonious and beautiful. All houses are built of Caen beige stone in the same style. There is no patchy stuff coming out of balconies or lying in backyards, as you can usually see in Russia. Everything is well-maintained and well-groomed. Here I would like to focus on the fact that I tend to notice beauty everywhere, because I love contemplating things. Of course I also see the beauty of Krasnodar and other Russian cities, but in this case I’m talking about the culture of maintaining the same architectural style. You can tell the French are proud of their history. Walking around the small cobbled streets, I couldn’t help stopping to contemplate all the tiny architectural details, all of which is a pure delight for someone keen on on visual arts.

3. Public pressure or lack of thereof

Public pressure as a factor has always been in our society. That’s the way social system works. Nevertheless, sometimes it’s not that strong, depending on political, economic, social, historical and geographical factors. In my opinion, in France (and in Italy) in general, people have a different definition of personal life and space. Here I would like to give particular examples, to give you an idea of what exactly I mean.

We all (especially females in Russia) have been asked very annoying personal questions depending on situation, like:

You are single: – So do you have some fiancée?

You are in couple: When are you going to marry? He didn’t propose you?(Why you are not proposing?)

- The couple are married: – So when are you going to have a baby? Why are you postponing?

And so on, it continues exponentially. People endlessly ask you, adding pattern phrases like : «You time is coming to the end” or “You will end up alone and with your regrets”. It’s just typically Russian thing, once you are 20(or sometimes even earlier) absolutely random people start attacking you with silly personal questions. I gave an example from a specific aspect of life, but this kind of interference touches on education, place of residence, life plans and work. Generally, this stereotypical state of mind does not come from a certain country or society, but depends most likely on upbringing, social environment, opportunities and many other factors. The question is why then in some particular places it doesn’t bother you that much?

In Russian society a single woman in her thirties is almost considered as good-for-nothing, a person without a degree as silly and talentless, regardless to the fact that sometimes people with 2 or 3 degrees don’t know how to earn money. And so on, according to social pattern: bright and beautiful women are stupid, expensive costumes, items and cars are an indicator of wealth.

That summer I didn’t feel any of this pressure in France or Italy. (I can’t deny, though, that it exists everywhere). You won’t be even asked and if you will be, it most likely to be in a very delicate way without details.

Nobody thinks that the marriage is an indicator of success in women’s life, and you won’t be judged by social patterns. People get married when they feel like doing it, not based on their parent’s or society opinions. They buy cars to use it, but not to show their social status(an expensive car on credit hardly can be an indicator of wealth, is it?). The most common type of transport are bicycles and bikes (in Italy you will see twice as many bikes as cars).

In France children become independent and leave their parent's house pretty early. If a 20 years old person has a car it doesn’t necessarily mean that it was bought by parents. Usually it’s a normal second hand car, bought from their own money. It doesn’t matter who exactly cooks food in a family, and we don’t have put millions of labels on each and everybody. That is my own impression about French society.

4. Vegan-tolerance

I personally consume milk products and I really love cheese and yogurts. But I don't eat meat and fish. I'm vegetarian. First of all, I was surprised that people didn't start freaking out and ask: « Oh my god! How come you don't eat meat?!». I think, this is a matter of personal choice. The reaction of French people was pretty calm. When we were dining together people were actually cared to cook for your happiness. Secondly, France is literally a vegan paradise. In French supermarkets you will easily find vegan yogurts, nut milk and soya products. Even though, I’m okay with milk products, I can’t help noticing such a range of choice on the market.

Part 3. There are no perfect people and cultures or what disadvantages I’ve noticed.

1.Special attitude to house cleaning

I wish I could skip this, but I can’t conceal my resentment. To put it mildly, French people are pretty chilled about house cleaning. In other words, why would they care too much about this? “Why would I waste my precious time on it?” is a common idea. I don’t want to generalize. You can encounter this in any country, not depending on nationality. But the more houses I visited the more I noticed their mess.

Here are some examples:

- You know, because of this climate, it becomes dusty very fast.

No doubts, if it becomes dusty why would you clean it. It’s better like this.

Don’t even say the phrase “To wash the floor”. For French generally (especially for young people), cleaning means hiding things messy lying around.

To the question “Do you have an iron?” the answer sums it all “No, clothes is fine when you put it on”. It tuned out afterwards that there were an iron, but somewhere really far in the closet.

Actually I was invited in amazingly clean French houses, but I still can’t deny my first impression.

2. La langue de Moliere (The language of Moliere)

The famous French pride concerning their language does exist. For better and worst. That's why you better leave your linguistic tolerance. Don't even mention Canadian French or other French native speakers such as Belgian, Quebecers(French Canadians), Morrocans, Algerians and the Swiss. Forget the entire world! Most French will tell you there is only one French language – and it doesn’t share its power. The French are 100% per cent convinced that the best and unique correct French language exists only in France. I've tried to defend my love for other idioms, but the view was systematically dismissed as heresy. There is no point explaining the social conditions of North American isolation for the guttural throaty sound of Canadian French. That is actually unbelievable that they were able to preserve their language in mostly English speaking country. Most people, unfortunately, agreed this was not even French.

The thing which truly astonishes me, is the way in which French people distort their own language. They have a name for it: verlan, argo or, let’s take their horrible spelling – these all is seemingly fine for them, but the rest is not. I personally don’t get it.

In conclusion, I would like to admit that I haven’t revealed everything I paid attention to. I personally think that everybody has to have their own experience to understand the culture and lifestyle in details. This article is based on my own experience, which doesn’t mean that it’s wrong though. I love France and French people just as they are. Actually, they are very nice, welcoming and friendly people. Traveling makes us tolerant and gives us the ability to accept things as they are. Never be afraid to expand your horizons.